


Angels, stop getting in the way

by tangerine (arte)



Series: Chuck and Gabe's Ship and Talk [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Chuck is God, Crack, Gen, Season/Series 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 06:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3125189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arte/pseuds/tangerine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or, why angels can't help the Winchesters even when they're feeling very helpful.</p><p>(Each fic in this series pretty much stands alone)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angels, stop getting in the way

Gabriel flicked on the channel on a whim. He was listening to it absentmindedly, letting the sound wash over him, then suddenly sit up as something caught his attention.

The good thing about being an angel who was dead in the eyes of Heaven was that no one bothered to cut you off from an angel radio. True, the radio was usually nothing but pain in the ass as the angels were the sort of species who were capable of chattering one's ear off 24/7, en masse, but sometimes, you could catch a juicy gossip or two.

It tickled Gabriel to no end that he couldn't be accused of eavesdropping on this. When an angel broadcast a message in the official channel, they're aware of the fact that they're letting every angel hear it. Ergo, Gabriel couldn't eavesdrop because he was supposed to hear it and they couldn't deny it. ( _I thought you were dead,_ was not a good enough excuse. After Balthazar, Gabriel, and Metatron, angels ought to know better)

Of course, it wasn't like anyone could accuse him in the first place because, well, no one knew that he was alive enough to welcome such accusation. Still, it filled Gabriel with warmth that he had an infuriating, but oddly logical response in his hand.

Back to the topic, Gastiel felt his lips beginning to curl up as he listened to the current gossip being discussed. His disbelief morphed into delight, and he immediately decided that this news should be shared with good old Dad.

"Dad, you gotta listen to this!" 

"Dammit, Gabriel, I told you to knock!" Chuck yelled, clutching his heart. Initially, he had tried to ward his place against all angels, but Gabriel had guilt tripped him into letting him in. Chuck wondered how much more milking Gabriel could possibly do for the mess about Lucifer.

Sometimes, Chuck felt like such a doormat. 

"What's the point?" Gabriel asked. "You're omnipotent and omnipresent. You'd know anyway whether I knock or not."

"Did it look like I knew?" Chuck demanded. "I want a break from that whole omni thing. That's why I made Chuck alias in the first place."

"Really?"

"Like you're the one to talk, _Loki_."

"Sheesh, alright old man. Anyway, flip on the angel radio."

"What, why? I just told you that I'm taking a break."

"Then take a break from the break. You'll wanna hear this. Angels are catching on to the plot!" 

"What plot?" Chuck asked, but Gabriel only made an impatient gesture. 

Knowing how persistent and annoying his son could be, Chuck gave up and followed his demand.

-

(Transcript from the Angel Radio)

 

**Speakers:**

Amitiel (angel of truth)  
Harahel (angel who oversees libraries)  
Theliel (angel of love)  
Zadkiel (angel of mercy)

**Start Transcription:**

H: Amitiel, I was looking for you! You must help me stop Theliel and Zadkiel.

A: What are they planning to do?

H: They wish to go down and help Castiel in his search for Dean Winchester.

A: Oh. (sounding grim) You were wise to seek my assistance, brother.

(ruffling sound)

T: I don't understand. Why can't we help Commander?

A: He's no longer our Commander, Theliel. 

Z: But surely, no one still holds what Metatron said against him? We now know that Metatron had been deceiving us from the beginning.

H: It's not the matter of forgiveness, Zadkiel. Castiel is dying. Hannah told us that we shouldn't put that burden on him.

Z: Oh.

T: But does that not mean that Castiel need more help? We know that our home is in difficult place, but the two of us wouldn't make that big an impact that we couldn't spare our time for him?

A: I see you do not understand. .Tell me, Theliel, do you think your aid would result in Dean Winchester's benefit.

T: I- believe so? If Castiel is looking for him, Winchester must be in trouble. 

H: That's why we're trying to stop you. You can't help the Winchesters if you're not Castiel.

Z: (confused noise) I don't understand.

A: Allow us to walk you through our reasoning. First, can you think of any angel other than Castiel who helped the Winchesters? It does not have to be big and it doesn't matter if the angels in question were sometimes downright antagonistic with them.

T: (considering) I guess... Gadreel? I heard that he tried to heal the younger one.

A: And how is he now?

T: ...Dead?

H: Good! Now, another one?

T: Anael, before she was dragged back to Heaven- and she's also dead.  
Z: Oh, does Rachel count, too? She once tried to answer Dean Winchester's call in behalf of Castiel.

A: I believe she does. You see the pattern now, don't you? Every angel who had ever helped the Winchesters - Gabriel, Bathazar, Tessa, Samandriel - ended up dead. 

Z: But- well, isn't it the case for the angels who had never helped the Winchesters as well?

H: You must remember that they die quickly in that case. If you help the Winchesters, however, chances are you would die a horrible death: Samandriel was tortured by demons, Anael was burned alive by Michael, and Gadreel ended up killing himself. 

Z: ...I see where you are coming from, brother.

T: I still want to help Comma- Castiel. Maybe we should kidnap the younger one, or their friends. They must be easier to find than Dean Winchester. If we earned enough bad points from them, we wouldn't die horribly, would we?

Z: But if they don't know that we're trying to help Dean Winchester, they might try to kill us to defend himself. And what if they call Castiel? I don't want him to be disappointed in us because of misunderstanding.

T: (fervently) I agree. I don't want him to give me that sad look.

A: Besides, I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. Anael tried to kill Sam Winchester, but it didn't stop her from dying in a great pain. I believe that no amount of terrible acts against them erase the attempt to help them. This karma remains very strong.

T: But there must be a way to help Castiel! Oh, wait, what about Hannah? She's helping Castiel on Earth, but she's still alive. 

H: She once tried to make Castiel punish Dean Winchester, didn't she? And she has yet to come into any favorable contact with either one of the Winchesters. I also think that her mission is geared more toward helping Heaven, which means it doesn't count.

T: Oh.

A: I understand your sentiment, Theliel, Zadkiel, but Castiel wouldn't want you to die because you wanted to help him, either. Remember how upset he has been about the suicide angels. We must take precaution.

Z: Is there nothing we can do?

H: I'm afraid so. Castiel is the only angel who can survive helping the Winchesters. Of course, he has been exploded twice- thrice if you count the Leviathans - and has suffered greatly, but he's still the only one who remains alive.

T: Maybe, we could send hopeful messages to Castiel. I heard humans do that to 'cheer someone up'.

Z: Yes, let us. And, Amitiel, Harahel, thank you for stopping us from facing gruesome death. 

A&H: Anytime, brother, sister.

**End Transcription**

-

"So," Gabriel clapped his hands loudly. "Interesting, wasn't it?"

"That was the weirdest, yet one of the most compelling argument I've ever heard," admitted Chuck, still somewhat bewildered.

"Same, same. And I'm ever so glad that I did not seek out those boyos after my return. Who knows, I would have croacked again if I did that. Universe conspiring against me and all that."

"Hello, I'm right here," said Chuck. "Universe can't conspire without my say so."

"Unless you're taking a break from being omni, right?"

Chuck made a series of weird facial expression. "...I hate you."

Gabriel grinned cheekily, smug. "But in all seriousness, why is this happening? Is it part of your big plan?"

Chuck shrugged. "I don't know, maybe it's a happy, or rather, upsetting coincidence."

"Oh, so you're gonna remain mysterious," griped Gabriel good naturedly. "Hmm, hey, do you think Castiel called dips?"

"What?"

"Oh, you know," Gabriel cleared his throat to imitate Castiel's deep voice. "Back off, mother fuckers, I call dips. I'm the only one allowed to help the Winchesters, especially that pretty eyed first born."

"That doesn't seem like a good strategy," said Chuck, playing along. "Especially when Castiel himself also dies horribly when he's helping them."

"There's that, maybe the Winchesters are just cursed. But then again I sometimes suspect that dear Cassie is masochistic, or at least very eager to make a sacrifice," Gabriel pulled a face. "Disturbingly enough, I can totally see Cas calling dips on making the most sacrifice. And because he has the most rotten luck, that would result in making other helpful angels die horribly and only leave assholes."

"Before you make any accusation, I want you to know I'm taking a break and I didn't write any of them."

"Yeah, yeah, you would say that," Gabriel waved his hand, and disappeared before Chuck could say anything more in his defense.

Miffed, Chuck stared at the empty air. For a second, he considered hauling the archangel's ass back, but shook that thought away. That was too much trouble, and he didn't want rhe Trickster to retaliate.

Looking this way and that, Chuck checked that coast was indeed clear. Furtively, he opened the book he had been reading, the cover of which wad suspiciously blank. 

_'You don't think you deserve to be saved,' Castiel said softly, blue eyes wide and curious._

_Dean swallowed. He felt like the angel had peered right into his soul and dug up the very thought that ecohed inside him all his life. His heart thudded loudly. He didn't want to admit that alongside fear, something like awe was beginning to unfurl inside him._

Chuck smiled. He knew that Gabriel would give him hell for this if he ever found out, but he still fondly fiddled with the worn out page. 

Sometimes, God couldn't help but re-visit the stories he had written years ago and think, _Damn, I was good_.

**Author's Note:**

> 'What the hell did I just write?' was pretty much my reaction after I finished this piece, but oh well, this series was born to put my absurd and cracky ideas in somewhat orderly fashion, so there is that. Hope you enjoyed this fic!


End file.
